Anxiety affects many people. Anxiety made me unable to attend classes. For years, I couldn’t attend matches at the Bridge, because I couldn’t handle big crowds! But when I look back, I don’t remember being more anxious than I was in the week leading up to 29 May 2021. Now, I am keenly aware of how that sounds. Perhaps the memories that came after have clouded my judgement. So often it seemed like I had no control over things; that’s what made life so terrifying.
But that week was entirely different. No matter what I did, I wouldn’t be able to change how that night would end. I could do my pre-match rituals, but that was it. I asked myself, would not doing those rituals change anything? Ironically, that thought filled me with the same anxiety I used to feel before going into school. Looking back it’s funny, especially when you consider that the scenarios were not remotely comparable.
So, of course, I stuck with what I did before every match. I kissed the badge of the oldest shirt I had. I know it’s not exactly a novel concept, and it may not seem important to most, but it is so implicitly a part of my matchday routine that it would’ve been crazy to disregard it.
My anxiety didn’t fade when the match began. I’d be lying if I said I was calm for even a millisecond throughout it. There are moments, however, that nearly two years on, still make my heart drop, despite knowing the outcome. It was going a mile a minute when Azpi made an unbelievable clearance in the 67th minute. I was almost brought to tears when the seven minutes of added time were announced. The world seemed to stop when Riyad Mahrez had a shot in the closing moments of the match.
Then, the whistle blew. The match was over – Chelsea were Champions of Europe once more! I watched my team celebrate the victory in Porto, as I did the same from over 1,000 miles away. I watched my captain lift the trophy; I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving than César Azpilicueta. I went to bed later that night, happier than I’d been in a long time. I figured that maybe the anxiety I felt wasn’t so bad, not when this was the outcome.
Anxiety affects many people. Anxiety made me unable to attend classes. For years, I couldn’t attend matches at the Bridge, because I couldn’t handle big crowds! But when I look back, I don’t remember being more anxious than I was in the week leading up to 29 May 2021. Now, I am keenly aware of how that sounds. Perhaps the memories that came after have clouded my judgement. So often it seemed like I had no control over things; that’s what made life so terrifying.
But that week was entirely different. No matter what I did, I wouldn’t be able to change how that night would end. I could do my pre-match rituals, but that was it. I asked myself, would not doing those rituals change anything? Ironically, that thought filled me with the same anxiety I used to feel before going into school. Looking back it’s funny, especially when you consider that the scenarios were not remotely comparable.
So, of course, I stuck with what I did before every match. I kissed the badge of the oldest shirt I had. I know it’s not exactly a novel concept, and it may not seem important to most, but it is so implicitly a part of my matchday routine that it would’ve been crazy to disregard it.
My anxiety didn’t fade when the match began. I’d be lying if I said I was calm for even a millisecond throughout it. There are moments, however, that nearly two years on, still make my heart drop, despite knowing the outcome. It was going a mile a minute when Azpi made an unbelievable clearance in the 67th minute. I was almost brought to tears when the seven minutes of added time were announced. The world seemed to stop when Riyad Mahrez had a shot in the closing moments of the match.
Then, the whistle blew. The match was over – Chelsea were Champions of Europe once more! I watched my team celebrate the victory in Porto, as I did the same from over 1,000 miles away. I watched my captain lift the trophy; I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving than César Azpilicueta. I went to bed later that night, happier than I’d been in a long time. I figured that maybe the anxiety I felt wasn’t so bad, not when this was the outcome.
Anxiety affects many people. Anxiety made me unable to attend classes. For years, I couldn’t attend matches at the Bridge, because I couldn’t handle big crowds! But when I look back, I don’t remember being more anxious than I was in the week leading up to 29 May 2021. Now, I am keenly aware of how that sounds. Perhaps the memories that came after have clouded my judgement. So often it seemed like I had no control over things; that’s what made life so terrifying.
But that week was entirely different. No matter what I did, I wouldn’t be able to change how that night would end. I could do my pre-match rituals, but that was it. I asked myself, would not doing those rituals change anything? Ironically, that thought filled me with the same anxiety I used to feel before going into school. Looking back it’s funny, especially when you consider that the scenarios were not remotely comparable.
So, of course, I stuck with what I did before every match. I kissed the badge of the oldest shirt I had. I know it’s not exactly a novel concept, and it may not seem important to most, but it is so implicitly a part of my matchday routine that it would’ve been crazy to disregard it.
My anxiety didn’t fade when the match began. I’d be lying if I said I was calm for even a millisecond throughout it. There are moments, however, that nearly two years on, still make my heart drop, despite knowing the outcome. It was going a mile a minute when Azpi made an unbelievable clearance in the 67th minute. I was almost brought to tears when the seven minutes of added time were announced. The world seemed to stop when Riyad Mahrez had a shot in the closing moments of the match.
Then, the whistle blew. The match was over – Chelsea were Champions of Europe once more! I watched my team celebrate the victory in Porto, as I did the same from over 1,000 miles away. I watched my captain lift the trophy; I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving than César Azpilicueta. I went to bed later that night, happier than I’d been in a long time. I figured that maybe the anxiety I felt wasn’t so bad, not when this was the outcome.
Anxiety affects many people. Anxiety made me unable to attend classes. For years, I couldn’t attend matches at the Bridge, because I couldn’t handle big crowds! But when I look back, I don’t remember being more anxious than I was in the week leading up to 29 May 2021. Now, I am keenly aware of how that sounds. Perhaps the memories that came after have clouded my judgement. So often it seemed like I had no control over things; that’s what made life so terrifying.
But that week was entirely different. No matter what I did, I wouldn’t be able to change how that night would end. I could do my pre-match rituals, but that was it. I asked myself, would not doing those rituals change anything? Ironically, that thought filled me with the same anxiety I used to feel before going into school. Looking back it’s funny, especially when you consider that the scenarios were not remotely comparable.
So, of course, I stuck with what I did before every match. I kissed the badge of the oldest shirt I had. I know it’s not exactly a novel concept, and it may not seem important to most, but it is so implicitly a part of my matchday routine that it would’ve been crazy to disregard it.
My anxiety didn’t fade when the match began. I’d be lying if I said I was calm for even a millisecond throughout it. There are moments, however, that nearly two years on, still make my heart drop, despite knowing the outcome. It was going a mile a minute when Azpi made an unbelievable clearance in the 67th minute. I was almost brought to tears when the seven minutes of added time were announced. The world seemed to stop when Riyad Mahrez had a shot in the closing moments of the match.
Then, the whistle blew. The match was over – Chelsea were Champions of Europe once more! I watched my team celebrate the victory in Porto, as I did the same from over 1,000 miles away. I watched my captain lift the trophy; I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving than César Azpilicueta. I went to bed later that night, happier than I’d been in a long time. I figured that maybe the anxiety I felt wasn’t so bad, not when this was the outcome.
Anxiety affects many people. Anxiety made me unable to attend classes. For years, I couldn’t attend matches at the Bridge, because I couldn’t handle big crowds! But when I look back, I don’t remember being more anxious than I was in the week leading up to 29 May 2021. Now, I am keenly aware of how that sounds. Perhaps the memories that came after have clouded my judgement. So often it seemed like I had no control over things; that’s what made life so terrifying.
But that week was entirely different. No matter what I did, I wouldn’t be able to change how that night would end. I could do my pre-match rituals, but that was it. I asked myself, would not doing those rituals change anything? Ironically, that thought filled me with the same anxiety I used to feel before going into school. Looking back it’s funny, especially when you consider that the scenarios were not remotely comparable.
So, of course, I stuck with what I did before every match. I kissed the badge of the oldest shirt I had. I know it’s not exactly a novel concept, and it may not seem important to most, but it is so implicitly a part of my matchday routine that it would’ve been crazy to disregard it.
My anxiety didn’t fade when the match began. I’d be lying if I said I was calm for even a millisecond throughout it. There are moments, however, that nearly two years on, still make my heart drop, despite knowing the outcome. It was going a mile a minute when Azpi made an unbelievable clearance in the 67th minute. I was almost brought to tears when the seven minutes of added time were announced. The world seemed to stop when Riyad Mahrez had a shot in the closing moments of the match.
Then, the whistle blew. The match was over – Chelsea were Champions of Europe once more! I watched my team celebrate the victory in Porto, as I did the same from over 1,000 miles away. I watched my captain lift the trophy; I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving than César Azpilicueta. I went to bed later that night, happier than I’d been in a long time. I figured that maybe the anxiety I felt wasn’t so bad, not when this was the outcome.
Anxiety affects many people. Anxiety made me unable to attend classes. For years, I couldn’t attend matches at the Bridge, because I couldn’t handle big crowds! But when I look back, I don’t remember being more anxious than I was in the week leading up to 29 May 2021. Now, I am keenly aware of how that sounds. Perhaps the memories that came after have clouded my judgement. So often it seemed like I had no control over things; that’s what made life so terrifying.
But that week was entirely different. No matter what I did, I wouldn’t be able to change how that night would end. I could do my pre-match rituals, but that was it. I asked myself, would not doing those rituals change anything? Ironically, that thought filled me with the same anxiety I used to feel before going into school. Looking back it’s funny, especially when you consider that the scenarios were not remotely comparable.
So, of course, I stuck with what I did before every match. I kissed the badge of the oldest shirt I had. I know it’s not exactly a novel concept, and it may not seem important to most, but it is so implicitly a part of my matchday routine that it would’ve been crazy to disregard it.
My anxiety didn’t fade when the match began. I’d be lying if I said I was calm for even a millisecond throughout it. There are moments, however, that nearly two years on, still make my heart drop, despite knowing the outcome. It was going a mile a minute when Azpi made an unbelievable clearance in the 67th minute. I was almost brought to tears when the seven minutes of added time were announced. The world seemed to stop when Riyad Mahrez had a shot in the closing moments of the match.
Then, the whistle blew. The match was over – Chelsea were Champions of Europe once more! I watched my team celebrate the victory in Porto, as I did the same from over 1,000 miles away. I watched my captain lift the trophy; I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving than César Azpilicueta. I went to bed later that night, happier than I’d been in a long time. I figured that maybe the anxiety I felt wasn’t so bad, not when this was the outcome.
